Bite Counter knows how many donuts you devoured, shames you into eating less

Because all you ever really wanted was an $800 bracelet that counts calories... enter the Bite Counter. It's the retro-lookin' lovechild of two clemson university researchers that helps its hosts approximate caloric consumption by counting how many bites they take. Color us skeptical, as the meatbag wearing the gizmo has to -- gasp! -- actually remember to both start and stop the device each time they feast. The duo is hopeful it'll glean useful data for future research, as the contraption can be used "anywhere, such as at restaurants or while working" -- you know, places where scribbling how much you eat in a secret diary is frowned upon. Best of luck fellas, but until it hits a sub-century price point, we'll just stick to eating salads.